Camping
by TheMushroomExcuse
Summary: Artie forces the Warehouse crew to camp while snagging an artifact in a small Virginia town. No real story line, just about their encounters as they rough it.


Disclaimer: I am not affiliated with the creators, actors, or anyone involved with the making of this wonderful SyFy show, Warehouse 13. I am not using this literary work for monetary gain. I am only borrowing these characters and previously created plots to have a basis for my imagination. In other words, I love this show. I never want it to end.

A/N:Don't ask me where this idea came from. I was just minding my own business, when "BAM!" And idea. I just had to write it, so here it is. Sorry if Claudia comes across as un-Claudia-ish. It makes the story funnier.

Day One: Surprise

"Gee Claudia, you're right! Artie really is a cheapskate!" Myka said, as she emerged from the newly assembled wet tent.

"Tell me about it. The geezer probably doesn't care that there are slugs and bears and icky stuff out here. Oh. And rain." Claudia replied, flinging mud off of her jacket, and sitting in a camping chair next to a fire pit.

"If you ask me, I think that he could have at least gotten us two cabins. They only cost twenty-five dollars a night, and we could have doubled up instead of us each having our own. That is likely one hundred dollars less than two hotel rooms!" Steve reasoned, and sat down next to Claudia on a tree stump.

"At least we would be warm." Claudia grumbled and shivered.

"No wonder he never got married!" Pete joked, as he too emerged from his tent.

"Be nice, Pete." Myka said, as she walked over to him a punched him.

The group had been sent by Artie to retrieve an artifact from a small city in Virginia. He thought that camping would be a good team building opportunity for the group. What he didn't count on, was the sudden downpour. They had flown in to DC's national airport, and had gotten their bags when Artie had called on the Farnsworth, explaining that they would be camping. He told them to check the trunk of the rental car for supplies. So, they followed orders, and drove about two hours out to the camping site. At the time, it wasn't raining, so they didn't really complain. Just an occasional huff from Claudia. They stopped at a little café for an early dinner. When they got there, they set up their tent in a circle around the fire ring, Pete's tent near the road, Claudia's tent to the left, Steve's to the right, and Myka's in the middle towards the tree line. They had just finished up setting their sleeping spaces, when the torrential downpour started. They had to sit in their tents for 20 minutes before it let up.

"I have never been more eager to snag an artifact." Myka announced to no one in particular.

"Agreed." Came the reply from the others at the same time.

"Let's make a fire. I'm freezing!" Claudia said, as she got up to find some wood. They had to go and buy a bundle from the camp's general store. By general, they meant very basic. It was a room not bigger than your average living room, and they only had necessities. Not much food, either. Just eggs and milk and bread and some fruit.

When the fire was made, it was getting dark very fast, so they grabbed their blankets and sat around it. Pete got up to get something from the car.

"Look what I found!" Pete yelled, excited, as he backed up and showed the team the goods. There was a bag full of smore makings; three bags of marshmallows, two packs of chocolate, and two boxes of grahm crackers. There were also 4 wooden sticks as well.

"Pass!" Claudia demanded, as she put up her hands. He tossed one bag to Claudia, and the other bag he kept for himself, and placed the crackers and chocolate at his feet. Then, he passed out the roasters.

"Remember, Pete, this stuff has to last us if we can't get the artifact by tomorrow." Myka reminded, as she took her marshmallow and stuck it on the stick and put it over the fire.

"Aw you take the fun out of it!" Pete said, already stuffing his face with uncooked marshmallows. He forgot how much he liked camping. His dad used to take him to the mountains a lot when he was younger.

"So, who has gone camping before?" Steve asked, putting a marshmallow on the wooden stick. Pete was the only one who raised his hand.

"Good for you. Now, how do we get rid of these pesky bugs!" Claudia complained as she swatted at a plump mosquito. As she did, she dropped her marshmallow roaster in the dirt, golden sugary fluff in all.

"Great, that's just great." She said, sarcastically, in a grumpy mood.

"Try again, Claud." Myka encouraged. They all sat in silence, with the crackling of the fire disturbing the croaking of frogs.

"Dese twings awr gut." Pete mumbled.

"Saywuht?" Claudia said, looking over at him.

"Mitah?" Pete said, as he shot his gaze to Myka.

"He said that these things are good." She translated, as she pointed at the marshmallows.

"It still amazes me how you can do that." Steve, complimented.

"It's a blessing and a curse." Myka replied, smiling. "Well, that's enough sugar for me. I think I'm going to turn in."

"Yeah, me too." Steve agreed. The two of them took their marshmallow rods and stuck them in the trunk.

"Good night, guys!" Steve said.

"Night." Pete and Claudia replied.

"Have a good sleep!" Myka said. The two of them unzipped the doors, and went in.

"Yeah, I'm gonna hit the hay too." Claudia decided. Pete went to bed soon after. He wanted to make sure his family was situated, before he went to bed. As he drifted off to sleep, all he could hear was Steve's low snore, and the sound of the breeze swaying. It would be a good night.

Day Two: The next morning

"Owww" Myka complained, as she walked out of her tent. It was 5:45 in the morning, and he alarm had gone off 3 times before she actually got up. Her back was killing her, because it looked like she had placed her sleeping bag over a pot hole or something. Her hair was back in a messy bun.

"You're telling me!" A disheveled Claudia said, as she too stepped out of her tent. Her red hair had a purple streak in it, and it was sticking out at odd angles. The boys were already up, surprisingly, and were cooking.

"Hey sleepy heads. We made breakfast!" Pete proclaimed, as he motioned over to the scrambled eggs, water, toast, and fruit bowl.

"We scrounged the store for suitable ingredients." Steve added.

"Thanks." The two women said. They sat down for breakfast, and then began discussing the plan of attack.  
"Pete, you and I should interview the suspects. Steve, you and Claudia can tackle the crime scene. Make sure you keep an eye out for anything that smells of artifact. If you must, use the mushroom excuse." Myka took charge, while scooping up a big forkful of egg.

"Mmmk but Myka, can I carry the Tesla grenade? 'Cuz geezer won't let me have it anymore. But, I managed to sneak it out of the Warehouse.

"Sure." Myka said. "I trust you to use it only if you have to."

"Yes ma'am. And thanks." They finished up their breakfast, and decided to get ready to go.

"I need a shower. Anyone care to join me?" Myka asked.

"I'll come. Just a second." Claudia said, through her tent. She flung her backpack on her sleeping bag and vacated her tent. The two women walked up to the store, and paid the 3 dollars each for a shower. They then showed themselves to the shower house.

"I hope these things are cleaned often." Myka muttered.

"Yeah me too. Imagine all the bugs that get washed down the drain on a daily basis. And the dirt. Ick."

"Well, at least I brought my extra pair of flip flops. Want to borrow them?"

"You, Myka, think of everything. Thanks." Claudia said, as she took them from her friend's hands.

"No problem. I hope the boys decide to take a shower too, because I don't think the people we meet today want to smell dirt, sweat, and bug spray." Myka said, as she stepped into the shower stall.

"Yeah, but at least we get to smell rosey!" Claudia joked. They turned on the water faucets, and started to get undressed. As Claudia was starting to pull off her shoes, socks, and watch, she eyed a giant furry spider come out of the shower head.

"AHHHHHH MYKA!" She screamed. She had a phobia of bugs.

"What Claudia?" Myka asked, from her stall.

"There is a giant spider over here! It's like, huge! AHHHH!" Sce screamed again. Myka had not begun to undress yet, so she hopped out of the stall and opened Claudia's, after asking if it was okay to come in. When she walked in, she saw this spider, hanging for dear life, as the trickle of water was beating up on its little legs.

"Awh, its cute."

"Is not. Get it out of here!" Claudia said. Myka was a bit surprised at how scared Claudia was. She sometimes forgets that Claudia is barely an adult. It is actually kind of cute.

"Okay. You step over there, and I will just remove the little creature." Myka said, as she walked around the pile of clean clothes and turned off the water.

"Oh dear." Myka said.

"What?"

"When I shut off the water, the spider fell down."

"Where?"

"Uhm… your shoes."

"AHHH get it out!" Claudia shouted.

"I'll try… here open the door for me."

Claudia obliged. Myka took the shoe out, and dumped it out over the side of the railing.

"There, all gone!" Myka said, staring at the frozen girl."I'ts okay, Claud."  
"Thank you Myka." Claudia said, as she hugged Myka. They then proceeded to showering. After they were washed, dried, and clothed, they walked back to the campsite.

"Hey Myka, can you not mention that to anyone? I would be teased forever. I just don't like bugs… they've scared me ever since I was a toddler."  
"Yeah sure. It's okay… it really is. I don't like tentacles, so when I see a squid or octopus I freak. Just don't tell the guys that either." Myka told Claudia.

"You know, I really miss having someone to talk to." Claudia said.

"Perhaps you'd like to have a girl's night out sometime? You know, go out for dinner, have some fun, come home, and watch movies all night?" Myka offered.

"Yeah, I'd really like that."

"How about we plan one, once or twice a month. Well, as long as our schedules line up." Myka asked.

"Yeah okay sure. That'd be wonderful." Claudia replied. They got back to the campsite, and got their day rolling.

That evening, the gang got back pretty late. Myka and Steve were tired, so they went to sleep early. Pete and Claudia's mind's were reeling, so they stayed out for a little while, watching the stars.

"You see that star up there? That is the north star. And that one over there is Orion's belt." Pete explained.

"Gee, how do you know so much about stars?" Claudia asked.

"My dad and I used to go camping a lot. We used to sleep out under the stars, in a totally secluded area of Ohio. It was wonderful."

"Run into any bears?" She asked.

"Nope, but I had a can of pepper spray and my dad had a small gun just in case."

" Oh. Gosh, it's really cold out here!" Claudia said, getting up to grab a blanket and an extra hoodie. When she got back, she found that Pete had made a little star gazing nest in the field they were close to.

"Here Claudia, come watch." He said, as he motioned for her to come forward. She sat down, and got comfy. She was just about to fall asleep when Pete heard rustling at the far side of the field, and screamed.

"BEAR!"

"Wha? Huh?" Claudia mumbled, in a daze. Pete rolled up his blankets, put them on top of Claudia, and picked her up.

"Whoa, wait! Pete!"

"No time. Gotta tell Myka and Steve to get in the car!" Pete half yelled. He sprinted to the site, stuck Claudia in the car, and shook at the other two agent's tents.

"What Pete?" Myka said, bolting upright. She was wearing red flannel pants and a tshirt covered by a blue hoodie.

"Bear! Get in the car, Myka." Pete ordered, desperately. Myka flung her sleeping bag to the side, slipped her feet into her untied shoes, grabbed her gun, badge, and tesla, and got in the car. Steve was there, already waiting.

"How did you know?" Pete said.

"It's a tent. And you shook it. And I heard you explain to Myka."

"Oh. Yeah, well Claudia and I were stargazing and then I heard a rustle in the woods. So, I scooped up a sleeping Claudia and ran back here as soon as I could. Oh, and I don't have any pepper spray." Myka turned around and looked out the back of the car.

"Pete, were you in that field? Over there?" She asked as she pointed.

"Yeah. Do you see a bear?"

"Hehe, no bear, just a patrol." Myka said, trying to hold back laughter.

"For realz?" Claudia whined.

"Yep, And it looks as if you woke up the other tent camper, Pete. He's coming now. You're handling this one." Myka said.

"Ha. Oops." Pete said, and with that, they piled out of the car and back to their tents. Well, except Pete, who had a lot of explaining to do.

Day 3: Finally

The team was able to snag their artifact, and was spared from anymore camping mishaps. The two women walked into Artie's office, and plopped the artifact on the table.

"I hate camping, Artie." Claudia informed the old, graying man.

"Yeah, I don't like it very much either." Myka agreed. "I know Pete and Steve like it, though."

"And Pete got in trouble!" Claudia tattled.

"Really?" Artie asked.

"Yeah, we were stargazing in a field adjacent to the tent site, and he thought he heard a bear, and he woke up half the camp and he got us all freaked for nothing. It was just a camp patrol." Claudia said.

"There was only one other camper." Myka said, defending Pete.

" Yeah. He didn't really get in trouble either. I just like seeing that look on your face." Claudia said. Myka started smiling.

"What look?" Artie asked.

"That one!" Claudia informed. "Right there!"

"Right where?"

At that, Myka left the room, and left the two of them to it. She really enjoyed seeing Claudia out of her element. Then she thought about how Artie would react when he found out that she let Claudia carry the tesla grenade. That was a thought for later, though. She was just glad she was home, where she belonged.

A/N: Thanks for reading. Originally, I was going to just write this and not post it, but then I thought that the fandom could use some funny fluff after what happened with the midseason finale and with Leena. So, please leave nice reviews! And now, you know what goes on in my head when I am not doing anything. :D


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